I was an alcoholic from 2004 to 2021. It was my crutch I was highly motivated and an avid gym goer usually ending long hard days with a couple more hard drinks than where necessary to wind down. Because of Covid there was only 1 AA group within an hour of my house so I went to a few meetings and my would be sponsor (great guy) said to be part of the group I had to give a 35 hour a week commitment to the group.
I had to find another way to get my drinking under control because I couldn’t quit my night gig to attend the group meetings. An acquaintance from another group told me about Dr. Gabor Mate. I figured the course is 6 hours and affordable I’d give it a shot. I learned a lot about myself in that course. I think it’s important for you to take notes and apply what this course has to offer to yourself in a tailored way if your an addict.
One thing it lead me learning for myself is always look forward and take care of myself. I didn’t realize how bad I was treating myself before. I worked out, ate a healthy diet besides the excessive drinking and worked hard to secure an enjoyable future for myself. What I wasn’t doing is looking to the future emotionally I was always in the past and I wasn’t listening to myself about what I was missing in life. We are going to live longer than any generation in history so look to the future it can be better than many of you can imagine.
Think about this and let it sink in, you can’t have your cake and eat it to. The top quality partners will have top quality standards themselves. I mean don’t party with the fun people for 15 years and than expect someone to love you for who you are.
In Steven E Landsburg book More Sex is Safer Sex, good men increase the spread of sexually transmitted diseases when they avoid casual sex. Women have sexual needs. If you don’t fulfill them, someone else will. Jump to 2020. Many of you will have heard women only want to date the top 20% of men. And it only gets worse.
Apps increase the accessibility of highly attractive men just looking for a good time. A lot of men are retreating into video games and other hobbies rather than dating, while the top 20% of men engage in casual sex without entering into a relationship. This isn’t healthy for men or women. Women do not want to share a guy with three other women. They would rather date a man after he increased his sexual marketplace value.
When men and woman have larger overlapping interests, they are better off. According to Rollo Tomassi, men and women are a compliment each other. The issue with “the all about me mentality” is that people aren’t learning important topics their partners want them to know. A woman will be nicer to a man she deems of high value to attract and keep him, while a man will cater to whatever a woman asks, hoping she will approve of him and treat him kindly. Sometimes women will adopt a false persona to attract high value men. This helps no one.
You have to be good to yourself to be good to your partner or the person you want to be in a long term relationship with. If a relationship is to succeed, people must enjoy doing things for their partner. If they don’t, the relationship will be unsustainable and possibly toxic. A man must be a good version of himself before he enters a relationship, and women must not be overly consumed with finding the best man she can get. Otherwise, she will be unable to appreciate the high quality man in her life.
My advice to men: Don’t date if you are not where you know you should be right now. Act slowly when entering into a long-term relationship after you have become the man you should be. In the meantime, casually date and treat ladies like ladies, not garden tools. You will be better than your competition.
At 39 years old I hit a wall in my life where I couldn’t get enough done to keep ahead of the responsibilities I had. After I got rid of everything in my life that was distracting me from doing the things I really wanted to do I started thinking about negative childhood events all the time. It was draining me of my energy and I knew I needed to do something.
I didn’t want to go to therapy for years to slowly chip away at the issues in my subconscious because that would be expensive and time consuming so I looked for a journaling method that would help me help myself in a timely manner.
I found https://www.selfauthoring.com/ and decided to trust it because Jordan Peterson is an efficient communicator and he probably wouldn’t publish a program that would take an unnecessarily lengthy period of time to complete. The program consists of 4 exercises and it took me several days of journaling several hours a day to complete. It was organized very well and it dug deeper into my subconscious than I expected.
I found closure with many past experiences just like Jordan Peterson said would happen by examining events I don’t want to experience again and stating what I would do differently so they wouldn’t happen again if I was in the same situations. I wasn’t overwhelmed by past events but I wanted to do a mental tune up so I could work more efficiently and that is exactly what I got.
It was a little overwhelming cleaning out my house, my shed, and my mind all in the same week but now I have more time work and do things I enjoy.
Having suffered a bad concussion I bought a red light therapy device after speaking to some ethical people say that they had noticed small to moderate improvement with health problems after used one for months. I have been using it for 2 weeks and have not noticed any changes but that is not a bad thing because I have already made a full recovery, my friends say I’m showing a 2 to 4 time’s improvement over how I was in 2017.
I’m going to keep using it and update this post in several months.
Check out this blog on red light therapy. http://valtsus.blogspot.com/2017/05/the-therapeutic-effects-of-red-and-near.html?fbclid=IwAR0kB7dH2zOoRH_lI4b-5APyOLM1kkuCHhf66-TG1Rf12hUtD5kb3msCjhg
During the 2009 housing market crash I was told about a great looking house on the market for a steal but it was cash only. Upon seeing it I was very impressed, I drove by the house a dozen time’s at different hours and the neighborhood seemed quite so I bought it. After I closed on the house a few weeks later I drove by to look at my first home and there where a dozen people loitering on the yard. I said to myself what happened how did I miss this.
After I moved in it became virtually unbearable, the people across the street had two family members who where drug dealers and they just got out of jail. During the day there where always half a dozen people standing in the yard and in the evening there where always at least 10 and sometimes there where to many to count. They started parking on the road in front of my curb space and projecting their voices towards my house whenever I was home. I spent all of my savings on purchasing this house because it was the cost of 2 years rent and I was on limited income so I couldn’t just leave.
So I decided I had to make it bearable as I had to live there until I could fix up the house and afford to put a down payment on another home. I started by installing an automatic garage door opener so I could like right by them and into my garage without giving them the attention they craved. Than I got frustrated because I always heard them over the TV or stereo in my living room but my backyard was quit because they where projecting their voices towards the house. So I cleared all of the overgrown brush out of my backyard but it wasn’t nice enough to forget where I lived for a couple of hours at the end of a tough workday.
Since the economy was still hurting I did some searching and found an aluminum pagoda kit for $160, metal bench assemblies for $20, and close to a full pallet of flagstone for $280. With the help of 2 friends I set up the pagoda in under 2 hours and laid the flagstone with mortar in under 6. The next day I was able to move the pagoda onto the flagstone by myself than I bought some outdoor string lights for 20% of the normal list price and ran them from the 2nd story deck down to the pagoda and wrapped them around the pagoda. In the evening when it was just getting dark it looked nice, I would go play with my dog in the backyard than the sun would go down, and the lights would turn on. I would forget where I lived and go to work the next day refreshed because I wasn’t thinking about my problems all night.
In 2018 I was obese, weighing about 270lbs and wanting to loose 50 pounds quickly. So I went to the diet clinic looking for a weight loss hack. I was prescribed Phentermine and given B vitamins. Since I’m a high energy and fairly neurotic person I played it safe by only taking a half dose and I liked the extra energy without any bad side effects. So I took a full dose the 2nd day, that’s when I realized it’s not for me.
I was already stressed the morning I took the 2nd dose because I had so many things on my plate, than I got a huge energy boost and became high energy obsessive compulsive. I became frustrated with how dirty the house my ex-wife and I recently moved into was and all I did was angrily clean for 10 hours.
When it wore off I realized I was moody, I didn’t efficiently utilize time, and I can loose weight just from changing my diet without exercising at all because my terrible diet probably accounted for 40 of the pounds I needed to loose and the lack of exercise 10.
This is just my opinion on phentermine and taking shortcuts, I truly believe that with lofty goals you can get half way to them easily by making some changes in your lifestyle, it’s the second half of a lofty goal where you have to buckle down and put in a huge effort. I never tried phentermine again but I would not be surprised if I had a much better experience if I had been exercising regularly before taking it.
In 2006 I was in the Air Force and an Air Force Doctor wanted me to get 2 surgeries because my discs where down to 20 percent of their original height. My orthopedic doctor also wanted me to get rods put into my back. I didn’t want to resort to that until I researched alternative options like decompression and using physical therapy to re-center the discs and relieve the pain of the pinched nerves.\
I went through drastic measures to pop my back and relieve the extreme pressure because my chiropractor and physical therapist couldn’t give me any relief. It worked but I later learned that was extremely dangerous and people have been paralyzed doing that so I suggest you don’t try it. I was still in al lot of constant pain though. So I bought an inversion table. Using the table was very painful I would turn cherry red and after I did my daily session I would lay on the floor unable to stand up for 30 minutes but it gave me relief. I had another x-ray of my spine done and it showed I had drastically improved the space in between my discs but the doctor said it might not be permanent.
14 years later I had over a hundred at home sessions on the inversion table and I hadn’t used one in 2 years because it stopped helping. My partial back pain relief stayed but I was still in al lot of pain all the time. I was contemplating paying for the surgery I could have gotten over 10 years ago for free. Than someone told me about the Reverse Hyper Extension table. That was another game changer for me. I stopped having the debilitating muscle spasms in the lower back and walking became easier. I was still in pain but I went from having to take a bunch of herbal muscle relaxers and at home back massages to barely make it through the day to making it through the day normally just in some pain. I can’t explain how big of a deal that is to someone that hasn’t experienced a severe back injury.
I’m still using the Reverse Hyper Extension table along with stretching and exercise to heal my lower back and I’m still experiencing the benefits of improving posture, fading pain, and increasing strength several weeks into this experimental routine.
I had terrible brain fog for 3.5 years after getting hit in the face multiple times with a hard object. My life came within an inch of falling apart, my wife left, people judged me for being weak and I wanted to give up.
Things started looking up when I tried an HGH booster from a weight loss clinic called Sermorelin. It might have been the placebo effect because I was so desperate to do anything that would make me feel better but I started have better workouts and my body started recovering, my brain fog cleared a little and I was finally able to find a job. I only took Sermorelin for 6 months so I could pursue other treatment methods.
I still had bad brain fog and fatigue so I kept searching for answers and trying different supplements and diets. Than I started taking Alpha GPC, Bacopa, Lions Mane and that was a game changer. My mental fog completely went away for most of the day, I stopped getting super tired a few hours into the workday, I dreamed at night again, and I started waking up motivated to better myself when I was relying purely on discipline before.